The Rise & Fall...

1st, I would like to thank everyone who commented in the last post. All input was very useful. I've updated the music-player with a few beats, I'll throw some more up this weekend. Download the SoultapeLvLZer0 to your right if you haven't already.

"SoultapeLvL3: The Burning Ace" will be my last beat-tape which I will release sometime during the summer. Reasons why are mainly I want to focus on giving my best to the artists I've been lucky to work with rather than just throwing out beats for any or everyone to use. And I often fear people not giving me the proper credit. I work hard on my music....someone claiming it as there work just breaks my heart thinking about it. Also, if all goes well with my plan for a release this month...there really won't be a need for me to just put out beat-tapes....but the sound of "Soultapes" will continue in my vocal-projects.

"Code 4:20" ...my vocal-rap project...title subject to change as the project progresses. But as the current title hints, it will be a smoker-based-project...w/ soul of course. If this goes the way I want it to go, the "Soultape" series will pick up from here. So as I said, the title may change.
I'm aiming for 10-12 tracks, completely produced by me. Most of the production is complete, it's the recording I have to knock out. The thing that is messing with me is that I could possible lose the little sanity I have left while writing and recording. What most people don't find out about me is that, it's not that I cannot write, rhyme or rap. It's that I don't normally take it upon myself to focus on it. Making beats relaxes me. I get lost in the music rather then visiting thoughts that are in my head. The "visiting thoughts in my head" part is what I fear. I have a lot of hidden anger and issues stored. And writing makes it all come back.

A few months ago Precyse and myself was toying with the idea of doing a project together with both of us flowing over a hand-picked selection of Fat Jon beats. We recorded two songs, the 1st was ok. Then the 2nd one....I blacked. That's the side that worries me. I lost my composure within seconds. I became very angry. That dark side has gotten me into a lot of trouble and I've hurt a few people who I intended no harm in my past. Granted, I was in pain while recording and I feel that's what might have made me enter that vibe but before the pain was as bad as it is at my current age, back in my teens I wasn't in as much pain or as often but I would find myself in that dark vibe. I've worked hard to not go that route anymore, but that fucker finds ways to drag me back in. In the past, people in general made me that way.....the physical pain of today is like a broken temper switch that cuts on with or without the help of people. ::Sighs:: ....but anyway. I'm always getting the push to do this project from associates, artists that I work with, family/true friends, old friends that have heard me flow from my teenage years....even my mother. So I'm going to try it. But...........
.............
.........
......
...don't say I didn't warn you.

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Cajun Chaos

I'm not normally a big Rihanna fan...after the last few days and the amount of anger I've been holding in, I finally found a sample to vent to. I was so heated earlier that I couldn't even make close to a good sounding beat...until I ran upon Rihanna's "Mad House" song. It's only an intro into her new CD...but an hell of an intro. So I turned the intro into something full.

Why I'm heated? It's dealing with my job and my muscle disorder. I got hired as a cashier at Walmart...but I always end up pushing carts outside....how the fuck does that work? And the CSM's think I'm not serious about the amount of pain I go thru. Standing still for hours is bad enough for my left thigh muscle and the center of my back....pushing carts just triples what was hurting and starts what wasn't hurting into hurting. For the pass 2 weeks every time I go to work near the middle of my shift I get taken off my register and told to go push carts. Mind you, we have cart-pushers. But for whatever reason every time I work there's either one or no cart pushers. I wouldn't bitch about it if I wasn't in pain while doing it. So when I say something I get yelled at with no respect. Nah...I told the guy today, don't you ever yell at me again. Talk to me how you want to be spoken to or we're going to have a problem. Also told him next time find someone else. We supposedly have 500 employees...get one of the other 499 employees to do it or get an actual cart-pusher employee. I applied for cashier for a reason instead of stock or cart pusher. I physically cannot bare it. Then after-wards, having to walk home doesn't help neither.

Whatever....back to the music.
I'm going to put up links to beats that I've made that are currently for sale.
I'll do it after I get some rest 1st.
But for ill beats there pretty cheap and the beat website should be up any day.

Cajun Choas.mp3 - Gambitt

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I Am Gambitt / Preview Of "SoultapeLvL2"

Most people would say I side with the X-Men character Gambit strictly because him and I are both Cajun/Creole and we're both from Louisiana. It isn't that simple even though I wish it was.

Gambit has the mutant power to kinetically charge objects with a touch or straight forward eye-slight of an object. Inside of him is kinetic-energy building up which if he doesn't keep down to a certain balance he runs with a possibility of exploding and killing not only himself but the people around him. The balance is kept by releasing kinetic energy through outward charges.

Myself...I have pain that builds up. Psychical pain all through out my muscles. Its an muscle disorder call Fibromyalgia. It is a medically unexplained syndrome characterized by chronic widespread pain and a heightened and painful response to pressure. I've dealt with this since my early memories as a child. At times when this pain builds up I feel as if I'm about to explode....in a rage. A rage to be painless again and a rage to set fire to anyone near me while in pain...meaning I want to be left alone while in intense pain. So I kinda indirectly take it out on people who don't take to my warning that I need to be alone while having one of my more painful moments.

In the same way that Gambit from the X-Men comics releases charges to keep from exploding by kinetic build-up....I release music to vent out my pain from within...mainly psychical but even emotional. I charge up my pain and release it through my beats.

Early this week I had one of my more painful attacks. Usually when I have one of my pain attacks its one or two parts of my body that's hurting. It feels like my muscles are on fire from the inside out. This time is was my entire right arm, in between my right shoulder to my neck, my left thigh muscle, my lower left side of my back and the center of my chest all felt like they were on fire at once. Instead of laying down in pain and trying to move as less as possible which is what I would do normally, I forced myself on to FL Studio 9 and proceeded to make the following beat that you will find at the bottom of this post. I feel as if I transformed my pain into sound format and it screamed into the beat. It's a half-sample...meaning I found a 5 second clip that was in a drum-kit pack that I downloaded, took the piano melody and added my own melody while chopping in completely new melodies...and I turned the piano into an guitar with the new Hardcore filter in FL Studio 9. In other words I did what I felt. I was in tears of pain while doing it but I did it and completed it. This is what was made...


This is the official preview of "SoultapeLvL2:Play The Hand I Was Dealt"...

Electrical Tearz - Gambitt

::::Leaves Kinetic Card::::
:::Explodes:::
:Gambitt:

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Speaking Of Racial Profiling...

Ok, this kinda hit me when I was responding to a comment in the last post left by Little Miss Knobody. Shout out to her by the way, I love politicking with other music lovers and reality thinkers. Also check her blog(as I often do). its very interesting
chiefofaffections.blogspot.com/

Okay here we go!
U know what's even more messed up? Being racially profiled as the wrong ethic group!

EX: The pigs up this way always think I'm Spanish....I'm not Spanish damnit, I'm fuckin Cajun but I will settle for being assumed African American which I am also...not everyone that's light-skin is Spanish!! I always get this shit here since I moved to Northern VA 3-4 years ago.

What's even WORST...in some parts of Louisiana...not often...but more often when I would visit Mississippi to see my older brothers and sisters...people will assume I'm white all of a sudden.

Like, you really can't tell that I'm mixed with something?
I'm yellow like a fuckin' hi-lighter marker but I'm white? I even had my damn braids at that time but I'm white?!

What element of fuckary is that?!?!

I hate ignorant people. Bottom line I'm Creole...Cajun may be more familiar to some.
Get it right.

"..but the bitch said I'm hot, I'm like nah bitch I'm blazing.
Like what the fuck you expect, I'm a muthafuckin Cajun"-Lil Wayne

::::Leaves Kinetic Card::::
:::Explodes:::
:Gambitt:

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I Hate It When I'm Like This.

Some people take my niceness for a weakness.....big mistake.
I took a girl under my wing when she had a hard time. Her mom's was beating her upside the head and shit. We beefed before it happen and she told me to lose her number and forget that I met her and I blacked on her in return on how she threw our friendship away and what was building to be more.

A week later she comes to my house and apologized...not even 5 minutes after the apology she asks me can she move in cause she needed somewhere else to stay.

I knew at that moment that something wasn't right....meaning, in my head I thought "your only here apologizing because you know I have my own townhouse. If I didn't have this townhouse you wouldn't be here right now." But I said yes...sure...I will help you. We was tight for about a month and she agreed to my rules of the house. She even said she didn't even want anyone to know where she stayed. While time passed she told me about her ex-boyfriend who was locked up that did her all types of wrong, including cheating, hitting on her, giving her chlamydia, getting locked up over dumb shit, wasting her money, everything bad that I shouldn't know about a nigga. She basically programed me to hate this dude.

A month later(about 3-4 weeks ago from now) she asks me can she have company in my room. We shared a room at 1st which was my room, except I slept in the living room while I let her sleep in my bed and all my stuff was still there. So at 1st I was like nah...but than I thought let me be fair...everyone deserves there privacy. So I said go ahead. She didn't tell me it was her ex-boyfriend that she told me about and let the nigga stay the night at my house. 4:30am while I'm making a beat I'm hearing all this noise from upstairs.....niggaz fuckin in my damn bed.

:::Closes eyes....deep breath:::

11:30am I walk in my room to get me a change of cloths like I normally do and these niggaz in my bed....told her to never do that shit again but she says they didn't do anything.......I must look fuckin stupid or something. 1st of all I didn't say the nigga could even spend the night.....let alone sleep in my damn bed.

No man is suppose to sleep....let alone fuck....in my bed other than me.

To cut a very long story short...we went from being all super-tight to barely speaking. This is all on her part and then she tells me we can't chill like that no more because now she has a man. Mind you we never did anything that was out of line of being a friend. We watched anime together and she'll write to my beats and sometimes we'll go shopping. Being that she knows about my muscle disorder she would always come and check on me. All that stopped like it never happen.

I told her to never let that nigga spend the night here again. He don't pay rent here so he don't need to be here. And I have major trust issues....and I also believe association breeds similarities....I won't nothing in common with that young nigga (he just turned 20....I'm 24). My house, my rules....you don't like....leave.

Turns out she been sneaking the nigga in late at night and sneaking the nigga out early in the morning. My room mates dimed her out, they thought I made things coo for her to do that.....I did no such thing. So 1:45am this morning while I'm having a cigarette(which I quit years ago but I was trying to not flip) I sent her a text saying basically "yo I found out, take the nigga home"....no response.....so I call her phone....no response....I wait until about 2:05am....nothing......I don't like being ignored.

Walked my ass up stairs, banged on the door....these muthafuckas not even sleep.....I blacked. Told her you can't respect me or my home, you can leave with that nigga. Ol'boy said something like "aiight aiight". If I wasn't pissed before....I damn sure became then.

Before I could yoke that nigga up she brings his diseased ass home and I chilled with one of my roommates(Big Shawn) and politic with him until I finally got out of "Ragin' Cajun" mode.

I really try hard to not be an asshole which is what I'm known for. I don't like myself when I'm like that but I can break your fuckin world...mentally. I will send your world terror-sending down into a spiraling pit of your own ignorance's. Its easy for me....and I enjoy it. But I shouldn't and nor do I want to...but I can and I will if pushed. I'm leaving a few things out but trust me I was pushed. I will air our more details tomorrow after I sleep. I hate a fuckin religious hypocrite.

"Ever notice once in awhile you come across somebody you shouldn't of fucked with?.......that's me."-Clint Eastwood, "Gran Torino"

::::Leaves Kinetic Card::::
:::Explodes:::
:Black-Gambitt:

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Project In Near Future,Justin Allen,Completely Produced By Gambitt.

Beening goin' in on the "issue" of P.A.'s joint all last week until the weekend came and my fibromayagal decided to bother me. My right shoulder kept feeling like someone was poking me with hot needle. So I loaded up on the meds and got good again by Sunday night. I started on a beat aweek ago for my boy Justin....got side track with P.A.'s project and didn't finish it....until night before last. So I finally sent to him...apologized for the lateness, cause I offered to send him a few beat and then the project popped up.
Sent it to dude yesterday morning and got it back last night....properly blessed.

Hearing the joint makes me want to try and balance out two projects at once but I got my focus on P.A.'s joint 1st cause we been politicking about this for a minute.
But like I did this week I'mma try and side a beat or so between the fast progress with P.A.'s project.

But its coming(Jae Alz/Gambitt project), we spoke alittle bit about it and he says its on me. My dude, I got you.

Music has provided me to find those who have the same passion for music like I do.
I knew Justin from high school but I didn't know how serious he took his music until recently. I often say this but I got mad respect for ol'boy.

Same goes for my dude P.A....me and this guy is just on this same crazy wave length with the music and just life in general. In a previous life me and this nigga met before...I can't explain it but I'm just weird like that. You just don't meet people and have a quick understanding of each other like that.

And the comes from a dude that has a rule:
The more friends you have now, the more enemies you'll have later

Excuse the vent.
More music coming soon.

:::Leaves Kinetic Card:::
::Explodes::
:Gambitt:

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America's F#!K Ups 'O9:GrandPa Goin 2 Hell

Being that I'm always finding news or video of major dumb/fucked up/idoit shit going on in American in the year of 2009, I'mma just keep posting it under "America's F#!K Ups 'O9". Is it just me or this year has been the year of stupidness from our people of America?

A grand father shoots his grand son for dropping a watermelon.
Ay....where this nigga at, I'll air his shit out with a canon cause he got to go.
I'm already in a bad mood but seeing this shit....ooooo!!!!

::charges up a blank cd-r disc, throws it and watches it explode on impact::

....I gotta go,peace.

PS....Download "SoultapeLvL1" if you haven't already....if you have, get @ me.

:::Leaves Kinetic Card:::
::Explodes::
:Gambitt:

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She Fucked With The Wrong Cajun...

Remember Ayana? In the blue bubble graphic pic that I did?
Well, she decided to fake on me twice last week.

1st Time: I BBQ'd and offered to bring her some dinner when she got off from work so she could just get him, eat and relax. She told me that it was a plan.
Instead, she leaves me hanging to go get drunk with her "friends" that left her alone in the middle of no where at 2am.

2nd Time: Friday night I waited for her to come thru, no show and no call. Waste of a Friday.

Saturday she text me saying that she's tired of her friends faking on her....I sent a text back...
"At least I know that your getting it back to you for when you fake on me"

She got mad and sent all types of "fuck you's" and a bag of insults that I didn't deserve and it carried on to today. So.....to kill all this because I tried to speak to her calm and as a mature adult but all I got was emotional blame from what I said but no admission to what she done wrong, I wrote this to her myspace before I blocked her.
\/ \/ \/

Deleting you from my myspace friendlist sence you refuse to.
When you have something positive to say instead of all the insults you threw at me which were reflections of your own ignorants, then re-summit your application for friendship. Other than that I'm cutting my losses from this investment. My door is always open to a positive conversation but step correct, leave that reckless attitude in the streets and please quit acting like an high school foul mouth brat if you plan to commit yourself to church. It is very disrespectful.

Never claim to be a god, but I am a king. God told me that. You calling him a lair?

You were so close to opening your mind and powering your faith even more but you cannot even honor your own, so your not deserving as of now but when you are my door is open to you. There was a reason why you were led to me but its rather depressing that you didn't discover why because of your temp. problem with diarrhea of the mouth.

Also, your on my block list as of myspace so anything you send I won't receive. Like I said, my door is open but you have to sacrifice your emotion, pride and dirty mouth. I hope they sanitize those communion glasses cause the stuff I heard and read from you is down right.....should I say, nasty?

Know yourself before you try to take me on, my mind is more equipped than yours. That can be a great experience when your own my side, horrible when your on enemy lines.

"The cure is worst than the disease"
other words....
If you even dream about disrespecting me again you better wake up and apologize.




.....I'm not one of these little VA boys. I don't take disrespect well.
I won't curse you out with the "fuck yous, your a hoe,etc" or whatever an dull minded ignorant guy would say.

Instead, I'll destroy your world from the inside out and leave you with an exit out of it to join mine after there's nothing left to show you anger/slang's/disrespect is a choice, not a must.

I'm kinda dangerous mentally :)

:::Leave Kinetic Card:::
::Explodes::
:Gambitt:

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Backlashes Of Fibromyalgia

I'm fucking sick of everyone....

Why you don't want to go out somewhere today?
Why you have such an mean face today?
Why are you talking real low?
Are you walking funny?
Why you don't you want any company?
Why don't you want to be on the phone?
Why don't you smile?


BITCH, I'M IN FUCKING PAIN!!!YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK PAIN IS?!?! ITS NOT A HAPPY MOMENT!!! PAIN DOES NOT MAKE SMILES!! I FADE AWAY FROM PEOPLE FROM TIME TO TIME SO THAT I DON'T DO WHAT THE FUCK I'M DOING NOW AND TAKE IT OUT ON THE WRONG PEOPLE!! WHEN YOU GET TO THE POINT WHERE YOUR RIGHT SHOULDER/LEFT THIGH MUSCLE/ LEFT LOWER BACK/ JOINTS IN YOUR RIGHT HAND FEELS LIKE SOMEONE STABBING AN HOT SURENGE IN THOSE PLACES.....DON'T FUCKIN TALK TO ME WHEN I'M IN PAIN, OTHER THAN THAT. BACK THE FUCK OFF UNTIL I FEEL....

....painless

::Leaves Kinetic Card::
-if you don't understand, stay next to that glowing card-
:Explodes:
Gambitt

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