Paralyzed Soul

The last two weeks have been rough. My muscle disorder...rather it may be Fibromyalgia or some other kind...has been very active. I don't know if it's the sudden weather change far as the snow, the wind, the cold air itself or if my muscles just like fucking w/ me. Whatever it is, it needs to end.

I've been going to the doctor as of late...thanks to my mother (I love you) to finally get this problem neutralized as much as possible. I might have a lever problem but I'm banking it was from all the Tylenols I was taking for the night pain that wouldn't let me sleep. Far as the muscle problem, not much has been found out but my Doc has put me on some meds for it...Amitriptyline or Elavil. I got them Friday morning and so far it hasn't done anything for pain. It has no problems knocking me to sleep though. It also leaves me feeling drained. If it wasn't for the neighbors blasting Spanish music...the kind when every beat is the exact same fucking pattern(hi-kick,low-kick,high-kick,low,kick)...I would of stayed knocked out for most of the day. Oddly enough I had to "420" just to get my balance back. I'm suppose to give my body a while to get use to the meds, so it's too early to judge.

But it has made music-production harder within just two days. I feel like I'm chained & bound by the medication(hence, the pic above). Mind you, the meds are suppose to be an anti-depressant & a relief for chronic pain....none of that shit has happen yet. Have you ever seen or known someone who was diagnosed with A.D.D. and then was prescribed Ritalin? And once the Ritalin is taken, the person seems like someone has stolen their active energy. Yea, kinda of feeling like that...just drained.

I hope this smooths out soon...I still have a beat-folder I'm finishing up for Signif and the "Music Colored Red" project w/ Justin. Both are very close to being complete. So...if these meds keep draining me down I'll just "420" my balance back and get to work. After burning one earlier tonight I managed to get 3 beats done.

Ahh, my left ear just kicked back in. Yesterday after I took my 1st pill from the meds, my left ear got damn near def...and it just suddenly un-plugged itself...*shrugs*...it works now, fuck it.

Been trying to keep the blog as active as possible. But just know any time that I'm quiet...it usually means I'm head-deep into finishing music....my other medicine.

Posted in: Fibromyalgia,real talk